unbound_spirit | More, Now, Again

*I finished reading Elizabeth Wurtzel's "More, Now, Again". She seems like such an amazing human being, I almost wish I knew her personally. I met her back in 2003 when she came to Princeton to talk about "Prozac Nation" for the medical anthropology department. She signed my copy and I got a picture with her, but admittedly, she seemed a little out of it at the time. Still, she seems like someone who would be cool to know.

*I'm now singing this crazy Stockhausen piece in the Percussion departmental after spring break. I'm totally exhausted and I have way too much music to learn in the next few weeks, but this piece is really good and I feel like I may never get a chance to perform it again, you know?

*Now that my grandfather is dying, there's all kinds of crazy financial paperwork I need to sign and go through with my uncle. Its kind of anxiety-provoking. I haven't cried about grandpa yet, because I just can't. I think I'm in denial. I love him so much, I just can't imagine not having him. He's my family's patriarch. He came to this country with nothing and worked his whole life so that his family could have a better life. He lived a selfless existence, everything was for us. He is so good, and so wise. When grandma died, I told him he wasn't allowed to go until I got married. I told him I wanted him to dance at my wedding. But now, now that I know that will never happen, I can't help but feel like I've failed him, because I know he wanted that for me too.

*On a brighter note, my birthday is coming up. 24 years. Oh God, stop me before I start quoting Thomas Mann...